DLT's face appears on his sunglasses as he introduces tonight's programme, just the start of what will be the most surreal 30 minutes of TV ever... or for some time anyway.
Steve Harley & Cockney Rebel - here comes the Sun
Heralded by some raindrop SFX here is a George Harrison cover by the art
rockers, it starts off promising but then here come the bongos. Its
just wrong OK?
David Dundas - jeans on
David is sat at his piano in front of what appears to be a wall of dog
identity discs. Some girls in Hot Gossip t-shirts (thus can we assume
the early Hot Gossip troupe in some kind of guerrilla dance attack on
Ruby Flipper? Well i will.) dance in front of him until some audience
members get pushed into the camera shot. As for the song its a typical
piece of late 70s pop, passable if a bit bland.
Ruby Flipper have been tasked with interpreting the Isley Brothers' "harvest for the world"
through the medium of dance. So obviously they dress in black &
white jazz cabaret outfits. Still at least its not as jarring as when
Harvester used the song for their TV adverts a few years ago.
Johnny Wakelin - in Zaire
If you ever wanted a performance that sums up the 70s then this would
suffice. A percussion heavy, messy but not without merit song with a
singer dressed like the Jack of Diamonds... who looks oddly like Sgt
Slaughter... if the Sarge was dressed as a 70s pimp obviously.
5000 Volts - Dr Kiss Kiss
Another performance of the passable novelty song, at least they arn't
hanging stethoscopes off their guitars this time but it still all has
the air of a Norwegian Eurovision entry.
Johnny Cash - one piece at a time
Unfortunately Mr Cash isn't in the studio but he is on stage somewhere,
the song is pretty awesome of course but i can't wait until Ruby Flipper
1776 - oh Suzanna
They are apparently called 1776 but seem like the cast of a musical, and
the song, which is sung by a man with the worst mustache ever, seems
like a typical musical song i.e. a dirge.
Elton John & Kiki Dee - don't go breaking my heart
And time for our new number 1, apparently the first time Elton has been
to #1 but its still not enough to bring him into the studio so we get
the pop video instead. And that brings to an end the surreal world of
Dave Lee Travis. TTFN!